Fashion & Culture

Jamie Gray Hyder
Words by Landon Peoples

In acting, the three main tenets of the Meisner method include emotional preparation, repetition, and improvisation. For David Mamet and William H. Macy, the Practical Aesthetics method is built on two simple yet fundamental pillars even non-actors can employ: Think before you act and act before you think. But, if you’re actress Jamie Gray Hyder, you get lucky (and unlucky) enough that your entire life is what prepared you to be a star.

A native of Washington, D.C., Hyder’s journey to Hollywood is a lot like everyone else’s—filled with hope and rejection in the form of thousands of auditions and blips of success along the way. Hyder has gone from college theater productions to starring in music videos, playing a wolf on True Blood, voicing video game characters, and finally, to where she is now, as the recurring role of Katriona Tamin on Law & Order: SVU. Where her story is different from a lot of television hopefuls, however, is that she never let any climaxes of fear become the overarching narrative of her story.

In 2018, after almost a decade of acting in L.A., Hyder found herself on unemployment (and running out of it). “It was crickets,” she tells Vestal in the interview ahead. But then, she filmed an audition tape for the role of Kat on SVU and she got the break any actor dreams of: a recurring role. Unbeknownst to her at the time, Hyder is a lot like the person she plays on screen. She’s eager to work, proud of where she came from, and isn’t afraid to speak up against injustice.Offscreen, Hyder is a samaritan of many causes. She works with the Call of Duty Endowment, which provides grants to charities that prepare veterans for high-quality jobs; she advocates for mental health awareness, including participating in online discussions with the National Alliance for Mental Illness; she supports cannabis reform and elevating women’s presence across the cannabis industry; and so much more.After 12 years on the West coast, Hyder moved back to New York in December, 2019—a couple of months shy of the pandemic. Though the past year has been quiet for the city that never sleeps, for Hyder, there’s no time like the present than to start a new chapter: supporting local businesses, getting to know her neighbors, and joining New Yorkers from Manhattan to Brooklyn in bringing the city back to life again. In our interview ahead, Hyder recants her journey from the University of Georgia to the hills of Los Angeles, what it means to be half-Lebanese in real-life and in acting, and how her role as a bisexual cop on one of America’s longest standing shows on television has changed her life for the better.

Landon Peoples __ Tell me about your route to acting. What was your break?

Jamie Gray Hyder __ I grew up a theater nerd. It’s kind of funny because, when you’re young and acting, you’re kind of a dork. But then, when you’re an adult—if you’re still able to do it—you jump into this cool category that a lot of us awkward kids aren’t always prepared for. I started off in community theater and was a singer (I took voice lessons for a long time) and did a lot of musical theater. I went to college for acting at the University of Georgia. And when I graduated, I did some theater in [Washington] D.C. but ended up moving out to L.A. to really give the real deal a whirl. And I was there for 12 years.

Landon __  Describe the moment you knew L.A. was the next step.

Jamie __ I was choosing between New York and L.A. when I graduated college and I thought to myself, having my degree in acting is more of an asset in L.A. than in New York... There are a lot more classically trained actors here in New York so I felt like my degree would help me stand out more in L.A. where people take less traditional routes. So, I went by myself. My dad sort of said, “I’ll give you a thousand bucks if you want to move!” And two weeks later, I moved; days later, I ran out of money. But I made it 12 years.

Landon __ What were some of the high points and low points of that time for you?

Jamie __ The lowest point of my career was right before I booked [Law & Order:] SVU. I’d had a spectacular 2017—I worked a ton—and then, in 2018, it was crickets. And I didn’t work for 18 months. I was out of unemployment, running out of savings, and sort of deciding what the next year was going to be like. And I ended up submitting a tape for SVU and got the part of Kat.

Landon __ Are you ever scared that 2018 could happen again?

Jamie __ Absolutely. Sadly, I don’t know what amount of money or how many years of employment it would take for me to shed that uneasiness. But I feel like it’s something that’s just bred in you as an actor when you’re coming up. I’ve done over 4,000 auditions in my life. You have to go in feeling like every audition could change your life and you have to walk out like you didn’t even do it. You’re always on this spectrum of desperation and then having to just leave it all in the room.

Landon __ Would you say you’re a master at handling rejection, then?

Jamie __  I don’t think you can ever truly master not caring about something that you work so hard for. But, ideally, you master the understanding of how the business works. There are 1,001 reasons why you might not get a part and your talent is probably not even one of them. It doesn’t matter if you’re the best actor in the room—you might not be the best actor for the part. It sounds cliché to say that some of the best parts are the ones we don’t get; that we saved ourselves by not getting a job. If you’re not right for it and the casting director is trying to force you, it doesn’t matter how good you are as an actor—you’re going to look out of place and that’s going to translate to you not doing your job as well, according to the audience.

On the show, the fact that they had a very subtle coming out for Kat, to me, was really important because I don’t think it needed to be some big announcement as if that would now be the dominating factor about this person. It was just, simply, an unfolding of layers of this character. And I think that’s a really responsible thing to do when representing members of the LGBTQIA+ community. Our life experiences inform us as we go. Nothing should be rigid.

Landon __ Talk to me about mental health.

Jamie __ Mental health awareness and advocacy is more important now than ever, particularly because of social media. In the past, when we were growing up, we were mostly competing with the idealized versions of men or women—or what it was to be masculine or feminine—on television or in movies. Those were the portrayals that we were inspired by or intimidated by. But now, that’s been opened up to an entire world of millions of people where you’re being hit with an onslaught of these idealized versions of people who aren’t really showing the reality of their life. Anyone who’s struggling sees that and it becomes harder to talk about their problems. And it becomes even more isolating because all you’re seeing is the idealized version of these strangers or friends and you think to yourself that they couldn’t possibly be experiencing the same feelings that you are. In reality, the human condition is complicated for all of us and none of us are exempt from that. To put a stigma on mental health or the negative aspects of existence, if you will, is really limiting. Despite feelings and life experiences being unique, chances are: Whatever you’re feeling in this moment, there’s somebody else out there who is either feeling the exact same thing or has been through it or understands it. By limiting the conversations around mental health, you don’t get to make those connections.

Landon __  What have you learned by being openly vulnerable online?

Landon __ How should Hollywood incorporate more Lebanese stories into film and television?

Jamie __ I’d love to see the expansion and utilization of Middle Eastern people in entertainment—not just the wife being controlled by her husband, or the spy, or the terrorist’s wife. There have only been so many boxes that people have went to Middle Eastern actors for. Whenever you saw a breakdown for a multi-ethnic person, it usually gave examples, like, “Black, Latino, Asian, or ethnic friend”—but Middle Eastern is never listed amongst those. And I just feel grateful— again, much like my representation of a bisexual person—I feel that representing a Middle Eastern person who’s playing a cop who grew up in the projects like anyone else. My heritage doesn’t have to do with my work or who I am in a way that a lot of times the Middle Eastern heritage is used.

Landon __ In 2021, after everything we’ve been through, what does allyship mean to you?

Jamie __ It means putting your money where your mouth is. And it’s whether your money is money, or your money is influence, or your money is time, or your money is resources. It’s one thing to say, I’m with you, and to know that you’re not contributing to the negative side of whether it’s racism or another social challenge that you’re facing. But you have to really back it up. We’re lucky right now to have so many different ways and organizations that allow us to contribute. You just have to be proactive. Do your own research. You can’t sit back and complain about the way the system is if you’re not willing to join it. You have to run for city positions. You have to run for neighborhood council. There are far more options available to us now than I think we’re all aware of when it comes to impacting positive social change. We all need to make sure we’re constantly examining and participating in those options.

Landon __  Let’s talk about New York. When did you move back?

Jamie __ I started SVU in the middle of 2019 and we moved to New York permanently in December of 2019.

Landon __ Apart from the obvious, how did New York change from how you remembered it before?

Jamie __ In some ways, it bummed me out to not get to experience New York life in the past year. And, in other ways, I feel really grateful that I’ve gotten to see an insanely unique version of New York that historically only certain populations of people have been able to experience—whether it’s the streets being quiet and silent and full of people riding bikes and walking everywhere because there are so few cars in the city during quarantine; or watching the city come together despite being stuck in our houses by ourselves for months; watching the city come together and hit the streets and protest police brutality against the Black and Brown communities and putting yourself around thousands of people. That togetherness was so impressive and something that I feel is unique to New York. New York is so responsive. It’s so reactive. And that’s something that keeps it fresh—it’s constantly revolving.

Landon __ In the past year, how have you been able to reconnect with the city?

Jamie __ Food has been the major communal connection that we’ve retained, even throughout the pandemic. That’s kind of the one thing we all had to leave our houses for, to go grocery shopping. Or maybe when things started to open back up, that was the first time we were social in any way, to go sit outside at a restaurant. We’ve realized how much we crave those interactions, even if it’s with strangers. The pandemic was the great equalizer. Nobody had access to things anyone else didn’t. The pandemic itself hit certain populations disproportionately, but as far as the amount of vulnerability and fear we lived with, that was something we all shared no matter what your walk of life was.

Landon__ What New Yorkers inspire you?

Jamie __ I’m really impressed by the small, independent business owners. Jaime who runs the bodega next to my house didn’t close—ever. Throughout the entire time, that was the place that we could go to get firewood or a breakfast sandwich or ice cream. Whatever you need, those people are there. And they’re not made up of anything different from we are. And the grocery store workers, too. The few places that you were able to go to when you’re stuck at home—if nothing else, you really learned the value of those interactions with those people. We’re all more aware of each other now.

Landon __  What’s next for you?

Jamie __ More SVU, hopefully! Personally, I’m looking forward to seeing some loved ones that I haven’t seen in a very long time. I’m looking forward to getting married for the third try so hopefully we can carry it out. And, specifically, my fiancé and I have an amazing fishing trip planned in Alaska this summer and we’re really, excited to go out on a remote island in a wilderness lodge and fish for a week. We’re totally looking forward to that.

Landon __ We’re ahead of what should hopefully be an optimistic year. So, what makes you happy these days?

Jamie __ A long meal with friends. That will always be my happy place.

Creative Direction Angela Sumner Photographer Danilo Hess @Ray Brown Pro Styling Stacey Cunningham @See Management  Interview Landon Peoples Hair Leonardo Manetti @See Management Makeup Juliana Grogan @Bryan Bantry Talent Jamie Gray Hyder